Another one of those mornings....

        This morning.... it was just one of those mornings... My 6 month old has never taken a pacifier (or a bottle well) since birth. She never took to her thumb either. As a result, a large percentage of the time when she cries I soothe her by breastfeeding. It comforts her, and has made her an adorably chubby 6 month old. However, this waking 2-3 times in the night is starting to tire this  momma out. I know, I know, she is number #4 and I should have this figured out by now, but I feel like I have been the worst with a good sleep schedule for her. What? You just laid down for a nap? Sorry, we have to grab your sister from school! Oh, you were sleeping?! We need groceries in the house for dinner... And so it goes...

      
   I am contemplating and dreading the whole sleep training process. Last night, I decided to sleep out in the back room with Ruby in the pack and play, next to me, and just give it a shot. My hubs is scheduled for a medical procedure today and I wanted him to be able to rest for it.  So, we ventured out to the other side of the house. Her first wake up was 3:45. Not bad considering she had went down around 8pm, and I last fed her at 10 before I went to sleep. But then she cried again at 5:30, and I scooped her right up and snuggled and fed her again... Then my, "I always rise before the sun", 2 year old came trotting out into kitchen at 5:55 calling, "Mom?, Mama? I hungry!"  Gah, to the time change! I thought 6:45am every morning was early enough, it 5:55 really necessary. So, I picked her up and headed to my bedroom to at least "snuggle until the sun wakes up" which turned into her kicking and crawling all over me for 45 minutes.  Well, that was worth it, oh wait, not at all....
        Now it is a mad dash to get lunches packed, I really should have went to the store yesterday... Girls, can you please eat these eggs with spinach for breakfast?

I know you have been living strictly on the Halloween candy hidden under your beds but try these I swear they taste just as good. Ten minutes later... oh you haven't eaten anything and we have to be up to the bus in 25 minutes? Awesome, you need to eat at least 5 bites in the next 5 minutes or stuff is going to go down! 3.5 bites in? Fine. Get in your bedroom and let's get you dressed. Oh, you can't wear that outfit? You worn it 3 times this school year already? Ok, that makes total sense. Here, lets just wear sweatpants and a hoodie. Did you both change undies? Lena calls out from the kitchen, I have to go potty mom!! Go ahead and go Lena, you know where the toilet is! Girls, let quick brush your hair so you don't look homeless, you teeth may have to wait this AM just don't breath on anyone to start the day. Ruby has awoken and is starting to cry. Lena calls out again, "Mom!" followed by some tears and I know there has been a potty accident. I run out of the bathroom to the kitchen to find her standing on the island. She had no doubtedly crawled up there in search of my phone to watch My Little Pony or Frozen You Tube videos and couldn't get down when she felt the need to go. Now she is standing in a puddle of urine on my counter. (I will spare you that picture.) Perfect. Grab two year old, strip naked, and place on toilet, grab towel dry puddle of urine, grab lunches and throw in backpacks, kiss faces, say I am sorry this morning has been so rough, please have a great day, and send two out the door. Breathe.
      My mind is racing, why did this morning go like that? I hate sending my kids to school racing up the driveway. Why does my 2 year old search out my phone from every cranny in the house? Is she going to have addiction problems later in life? Oh yes, Ruby you are still crying! Here let me feed you and changing your 20 lb. diaper. Am I getting worse at handling this chaos?
      Then, I pull myself back from that ledge. Breathe. You have a Savior. You don't have to figure it all out. You are enough. This morning was not one of my better mornings. But, that is okay. Move forward. We are in charge of changing outcomes. Start the washer and dryer and tackle the laundry that has been neglected due to helping your sister paint her entire kitchen this past week. (Even though she didn't listen to you and placed an offer, that was accepted, on a house before hers is even on the market. Dave Ramsey would be appalled.) Do the dishes in the sink from last nights meal because after a crazy work weekend all you wanted to do was snuggle your babies on the couch and read, "Cloudy , with a side meatballs". Do the workout that you promised yourself you would complete every day for 21 days with a phenomenal group of people. Do something, you have to in order to change an outcome.