Today, I am udderly tired. Literally, udderly. It has a component of mental tiredness, but is also, in large part, physical in nature. You know you have reached this point when you are walking through the deli section at your local Aldi's and your thoughts run to those poor female cows. I mean, I am drinking only coconut and almond milk (for many reasons, but one of them is...) because the thought of me contributing to another XX chromosome creature having to have her life juice sucked out of her every couple hours leaves with immense guilt. That poor 'ole girl must be udderly tired.
I could have reached this point because my youngest has had some intense, negative food reactions and thus, is still primarily breast fed at 6.5 months. Or maybe it is because in the last 7 years I have been breast feeding for over 3 and 1/2 years of them. Wow, that is powerful to write down. Who knew these itty bitty B cups would be able to handle that kind of traffic? It could be that as a breast feeding mother you agonize every time your baby is really fussy or upset, "Was it something I ate?" and then proceed to analyze every last meal you have consumed in the last 48 hrs for possible contributing parties. There is boob guilt. It is a real thing and I think it could be the reason I am I udderly tired.
Was it the pizza? Brocolli? Milk? Oatmeal? Maybe the air I breathed?
Or it could be that just when you think you have finally made it through the stage when your breasts are one of the reasons, along with your personality and intellect (of course), that you are being pursued, it becomes the primary reason you are being pursued. The hollers that used to only come when you dressed up and wore heels down a busy street now come every couple hours round the clock.
Babies don't care if you have drool stuck to the side of your face because it is 2:30 in the stinkin' morning. They are still going to holler away! And, because you love them with every deep and hidden part of your soul, you stumble through the halls, kicking toys, and spewing venom about why women had to be designed with the breast feeding capabilities. But you only ever dare spew venom in your head because you would never risk waking them anymore then they already are. Plus, you are desperately hoping this visit is for a 5 minute fill up and go. Over time it makes you udderly tired. Truth.
Could I continue on? You bet. Will I continue on breastfeeding? You bet. I am committed. Even though I am udderly tired there are these moments that are so ridiculously sweet it takes your breath away. Plus, these bad boys are significantly reducing my monthly grocery bill. Formula is expensive! So, if you are in these same shoes or will be in the future, I hope you know you are NOT alone! Cheer to us breast feeding mommas being udderly tired together!
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